Part I
I feel nothing inside
The demon is not winning, this is not the darkness, this is not evil
This is only my fucked up mind making a problem
The pills, the cum, the thoughts, the stare, the blood
I have not done this as my dark side
I was not overcome, I am still far from the edge
The last time the words of death and kill
Were carved out of hate in a drunk state
I saw the man I wanted to kill and wanted death for him
But today I did not feel the same pain
Painkillers of course is what would be responsible
To do the things I thought would kill
But only create another stage of me
A confused and yet wondering being
I thought I would want to die here
But I don’t. I don’t’ understand either
This is not some horrid beast
The clawing out and trying to be free
Could not happen now
The proper feelings to an emotion
The proper heart to a soul
The proper brain to a body
And life to a man
Where are these things?
I can’t find my heart
I can’t find my soul
I know what the person wants and needs
But I have been cut deeply
I can’t identify {am not there} with what is there
Is this the change?
But still I cant find the way
There has to be something there to turn into, this person cannot be
Become the hate and evil overcomes it
So strange where I could be
Out and gone
That’s the way
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